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Be Deliberate In Liking Yourself And A Deep Dark Secret

I am writing this post to sort of vent, but at the same time I’m sure you (my beautiful reader) have experienced this before. I am also coming from a place of total honesty to let you into a deep dark secret. So let me ask you…

Have you ever come in contact with people that REALLY dislike you? Or maybe there is a person in your life that is trying to change who you are so that is may benefit them. Or maybe they are so deliberate about not liking you that everyone notices?

I have been in all the above before. And it is such an exhausting place! To get to the point that you feel like you are not good enough, and that 20140413-213515.jpgthere are certain qualities about yourself that just aren’t up to par. Maybe this person in your life is a business partner, “friend”, or maybe this person is a family member! Either way, being treated this way doesn’t bring out the warm fuzzies. Most of the time when someone treats you this way it comes from a place of insecurity on their part. It’s hard not to take it personal when someone deliberately treats you a certain way, but at the end of the day.. YOU have to be deliberate in liking yourself. That way nothing that people say about you will penetrate your heart.

So here is my deep dark secret. I used to think that my outgoing, social personality was not professional enough. I have had people tell me that no one will take me seriously. I also have had people tell me that being so social is annoying. So over time I started to believe it. I wouldn’t like the part of my ‘social butterfly self’. I tried to act like other people and it WASN’T WORKING!! It was so exhausting to try and be something that I am not. Fact is, I am social. I like to talk. I like to laugh. I like to dance. I like to smile and I like to have fun. That is me. And it wasn’t until recently that I was 100% ok with that. Not everyone is like me. (another great post to read is about the personality types. This subject will become more clear and help you understand your own personality) God made me the way I am. I am proud of it. I shouldn’t change it because a handful of people don’t like it.

I will end on this note. If you have ever felt this way before it is common. Just know that you are YOU. You are unique. You have gifts and talents that No One on this planet has! If you like YOU, no one can say anything to you. Don’t let anyone else’s insecurities and complaints about you become your reality.

XOXO

beautiful

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  1. debra p says

    I’ve found that lots of times, the problem is on their end. Perhaps they are feeling insecure or depressed or just angry in general. Best not to take it personally!

  14. jeanae says

    We all deal with this, but we don’t always admit it. 🙂
    An amazing thing happened when I became a woman of a certain age: I stopped caring what other people thought. I’m a far cry from the person I was in my 20’s. Rather than being eager for people to like and accept me, I decided to like and accept myself. That is when I found my truest self, truest friends, and truest happiness.
    Awesome, & honest post!
    jeanae recently posted..#Giveaway Mom’s Night OutMy Profile

  17. Tammy Litke (@threedifferent) says

    I think if constructive criticism is given in love then the receiver should perhaps do some thinking about what was said. I didn’t want to change for anyone at certain points in my life and was told by some people that aspects of my personality were not ‘becoming’ in social situations (and probably that extended to professional ones as well). After doing a bit of growing up (after I was already a grown up), I realized they were right, and worked on toning down those personality traits. Ends up I’m a better and happier person for it 🙂 Though as I said, one needs to be aware of how and why others are commenting on ones personality – if it’s not to genuinely point out how someone is perceived in a group setting, and it’s out of jealousy, malice or resentment, then keep on doing what you’re doing and pray for them 🙂
    Tammy Litke (@threedifferent) recently posted..I Know My Redeemer Lives – Happy Easter!My Profile

  21. Dianna @ Oy Vey a Day says

    Thanks for the honesty. It can be tough not to define yourself by how others see you, but you are ally do have to like who you are and not worry so much about what everyone else is saying.

    We actually tell our kids that there will always be people who don’t like you and people whom you don’t like. We all have such different personalities and experiences that it is inevitable – however, you need to treat everyone with respect… even if they don’t return the favor. You are defined by your actions – not everyone else’s.
    Dianna @ Oy Vey a Day recently posted..Motherhood with Multiple Sclerosis– A Question & Answer SessionMy Profile

  25. Ms. Dre' says

    Friend! This is an amazingly inspiring post and I agree with you 100%. We spend entirely too much time allowing society, people or whoever telling us who they think we should be instead of flourishing in the awesomeness that is us! God created you this way, be it! Love it and LIVE! Great post! Love it & Love you! xoxo

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